i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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