How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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