I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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