You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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