scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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