and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
