WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
