u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
