There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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