kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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