i would punch a child for taco bell
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
