So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize