Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
