how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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