this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
