great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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