I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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