roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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