Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
