Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
