he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
well most of my day revolves around power hour
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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