i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
