Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
