And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
