Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So vagazzling was a success
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
