After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
