I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
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We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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