we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
