I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
