just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
