people are starting to question the shark bite story
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
