That's intense
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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