I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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