i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
