I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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