Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize