you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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