there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
