Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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