Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize