im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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