kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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