im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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