i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
