There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
