my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
