I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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