I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
