Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
