Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize