sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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