reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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