I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize