Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
