dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
