Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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