remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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