So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
