He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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